Joel-hor Bahru, Hawaiian Shirts and Haggling

Welcome to Kuala Lumpur! The Hawaii of Malaysia!

Or so it appears to be as I sit here typing this in a bright orange Hawaiian shirt in the cafe of the YMCA we are staying at. I'll get onto why I am in such a shirt in a moment but let me get you up to speed first.

So at the end of the last blog, we were about to start our second and final performance in Johor Bahru. Or as it shall now be known Joel-hor Bahru. This is due to Joel's 'overwhelming popularity' with the local children. You see, after our first show and the whole SSIFC appeared, old Joely Wet Eggs decided that he wanted in on the adoration. So after the show on Wednesday night, Joel tried to get the children to have photos taken with him. They were not as keen. Eventually, Joel ended up chasing down the children and trying to wrestle them into submission. OK, I am perhaps over stating the facts but none the less Joel seemed to feel that whenever we return to JB it will be renamed 'Joel-hor Bahru' in his honour and the palace will be waiting for him should he wish to stay.

Anyway, we had a good final night in JB before flying out to Kuala Lumpur Thursday lunchtime. A quick point to any budding architects though, when designing a urinal, don't make it look like a water feature. Or vise-versa. I'm still not entirely sure what it was. Just visit the male toilets in JB airport and you will see what I mean.

A coach dropped us off at a YMCA where we shall be staying for the remainder of the tour. It is not as lavish as the Straits View hotel but it is perfectly comfortable. Once again I am sharing with Joel and John King. This time, Joel was detirmined to get the best bed, so me and John let him pick. Much to his annoyance, all three beds were of equal quality so he picked the one with the best view of the TV. We later discovered that the TV doesn't work. :)

Once we had dropped of our belongings we headed to where we will be performing the final two shows, the Temple of Fine Arts, KL. This facility is much less rustic than the JB branch. It is an incredible building that has the capacity to facilitate many different dance and music lessons. We all had dinner in a restraunt on the bottom floor, which led to this excellent joke from myself.

Me: Hey! This yellow sauce is writing a message to me!
Katrina: What?
Me: Oh! It's writing a book. It's called 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.'
Katrina: Huh?
Me: It must be Rohl Dhall.

*APPLAUSE*

Thank you. Thank you. OK settle down. So today we went to the markets in Chinatown and I discovered a new talent, haggling. This is what I found works:

1.) Identify the item you want and think of how much it would cost back at home.
2.) Look in the general area the item of interest is. The shopkeep will see you and engage in conversation.
3.) Be as polite and friendly as you can. Ask how much the item in question costs. EG: How much are your football jerseys?
4.) Listen to how much it costs. EG: 45RM (RM is the symbol for Malaysian Ringet)
5.) Make this noise whilst appearing to think about it: Errrrrmmmmm.....
6.) The shopkeep will make a revised offer. EG: 35RM. Just for you

If you are happy with this, accept. If not...

7.) Pretend you have a better offer. EG: I don't know. There's a guy selling one down there for 25RM.
8.) Wait for counter-offer. If they match or better the 'other guy' accept the price. If not...
9.) Walk away, saying you will take the 'other guys' offer. Remember, you have the money therefore you have the power. One of two things will happen:

9a.) You don't get the item. Big deal, in markets like this, there are at least ten other stalls selling the same thing. Or...
9b.) The shopkeep will yell to you an improved offer. EG: 20RM. Accept.

Congratulations! You have successfully haggled!

So we are about to go to the temple to have a rehearsal ahead of the two shows this Sunday with myself, Scott, Jason and Mud ready to show off our new Hawaiian shirts. Oh yeah! There may be one final blog before we return on Tuesday. If not, there will be one that sums up the rest of the trip available by Wednesday. Thank you for following our adventures and I'll speak to you all next week.

Yours,
Stephen

What country friend is this? Ponchos, Joel's Bed, Harrison Ford and The Scott Suffling International Fan Club

Sorry for the delay in this update, everyone. A lot has been going on and i've only just found a computer. This blog covers the rest of our stay in Singapore, the journey to Johor Bahru and our first performance at the Temple of Fine Arts. Also, by popular demand, puns will be appearing in this blog. You can thank Emma for this. :)

So, where to begin? Well on our second day in Singapore, the tutors decided to take us to the zoo. When we got there, the dark grey clouds that had appeared in the morning turned into a monsoonal downpour. You could say it was Singapouring it down. In spite of this, we carried on, with bright green ponchos to protect us. The zoo was incredible, in particular the elephant show, which I would highly recommend you all seeing if you get the chance. I had no idea just how incredible these majestic creatures were. I could tell you more about the zoo, like Melissa 'emu-lating' the emus, the chimp that won a race, therefore becoming the 'Chimp-ion', or the pizza shop inside the zoo called 'Pizzafari' but they are irrelephant by comparison. (Happy now, Emma?)

After the zoo, myself, Scottrina, Joel, Jason, Nick Choo, Claire and Kate went to a local bar to watch the Australia/Germany game. Oh dear. That was a mistake, if not for the result but for the large amount of alcohol that was consumed. The shop owner, who insisted we call him 'Uncle' was more than happy for our patronage. I also got to try a 'Singapore Sling' at a swanky bar in the CBD with Scott and Mud, an interesting cocktail to say the least.

The following day (Monday) we left The Hive on a coach and drove into Malaysia. After a quick delay at the check in (Kylie, Meagan and Leanne managed to get lost somehow) we had a lovely lunch and were taken to our new lodgings in Johor Bahru, the Straits View hotel. It is an improvement on The Hive, as we are now in rooms of two or three as opposed to rooms of 6 and 12. I am currently sharing a room with John King and Joel. As myself and John were the first two in the room, we claimed the proper beds, leaving Joel with the fold out cot. We haven't heard the last of it;

"It's too small! My feet are hanging over the edge!"

"This pillow is too hard!"

"You call this a blanket? I can see through it!"

"I can't see the TV properly at this acute angle!"

Etc, etc. In fairness, these comments are justified. But Joel's complaining has been very funny none the less. Anyway, in the evening we were taken to the Temple of Fine Arts for a rehearsal. The Temple is a dedicated school of the arts, mostly in the area of dance. We were treated to a short segment of a 35 minute dance routine that the students had been training for for an exam. It was pretty incredible and I don't know how impressed they were with our Duck Dance by comparison.

The first night went by without much incident, or so i thought. It turns out that John and Joel are the latest to experience a sleeping Stephen, who it turns out is just as talkative when unconscious as when awake. I have been know to talk in my sleep and apparently (i have no memory of my dream from the night) I was talking to Harrison Ford. We must be good friends, as i referred to him as Harry for the most part.

The following evening (Tuesday) we had our first performance scheduled. So after a morning shopping and lunch at 'Kenny Rodger's Roasted Chicken Restaurant' we spent the afternoon relaxing before the show. Unless you were Claire, Kate and Kylie that is, who proceeded to climb through windows, spell out words with their bodies to say "Joel love poop long time." and zip poor Hannah up in a suitcase and leave her outside our room.

Once we were all hi-jinxed out, we had another quick rehearsal before leaving for the Temple. Now CT people, if you thought it was warm and uncomfortable backstage in the Nexus, you have no idea how we felt last night in full makeup and costume outside on a balmy Malaysian evening. It was disgustingly uncomfortable and the thought that in an hours time I have to start putting that gear on again is making me a bit unhappy. However, it is cooler today so it shouldn't be as bad and the audience were incredible. They made us all feel very welcome in their community and after the show the children came to have lots of pictures taken with us. So in spite of the discomfort, we are all more than willing to do the show again.

Last night also saw the reformation of the SSIFC (Scott Suffling International Fan Club), an organization with two main objectives:

1.) To show an almost irrational amount of love and general revelry towards Scott Suffling.

2.) To really annoy Claire and Kate.

Last year, when Scott, Claire, Kate, Katrina and a few other students toured a play around Chile, Scott had a huge appeal to the youngsters, particularly 15 year old girls i'm told, who had 'I LOVE SCOTT!' written on their foreheads. Well last night, the Malaysian branch of the SSIFC turned up and demanded that Scott come out of the changing area to have photos taken. They absolutely love him and it is remarkable. Claire thinks it is because they have never seen anyone with ginger hair before and I wouldn't be surprised if Kate turned up tonight with her hair a redder shade than 'The Fire Boy.'

So tonight we are performing our second and final show in Johor Bahru and then tomorrow we fly out to Kuala Lumpur. I'm not sure how long it will be before there is another of these blogs. Possibly tomorrow night but it is more likely to be up the next day. (Friday) I do hope that this finds you all well.

Take care,

Stephen